For some odd reason, my last blog was cut short, so here is the rest of it:
We cannot begin to know the extent of the grief suffered by the Norwegian people at the present moment, but what is really inspiring is the way that they come together, and support each other. Their spirit can be symbolised by the attitude of the Norwegian PM, who has argued that we need to respond to such terrorist acts with more democracy, whereas our PM, David Cameron has stated that we need to be more ever more vigilant against this type of atrocity. To me, these different attitudes represent on the one hand a need to insist even more on a fair, free and diverse society and on the other hand a society which encourages suspicion and fear.
The Norwegian court was absolutely right to deny Anders Behring Breivik the chance to present his 'manifesto'. This man's acts do not represent political or religious viewpoints, they are simply representative of a form of psychosis, an extremism which has led him to commit these atrocities. In fact there is an anonymous campaign underway on the internet to sabotage his manifesto, by getting people to 'spoil' it in all sorts of ways and send it on to others to do the same. Personally I think that it should be completely ignored and discarded.
By far the best way to help at present is to send our support and love to the Norwegian people in any way that we can. They have an idomitable spirit and fortitude which will help them to endure, but to know that they have the global community on their side will hopefully give them strength to get through this difficult time.
Wendy x
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
It felt very strange to wave off my son, driving my car, on his own, last Thursday. I know it may sound like a cliche, but it only seems five minutes since he was driving a little orange cozy coupe around the yard. Time seems to fly by so quickly, and, as the events of the weekend have all too brutally reminded us, life is transitory and fragile.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Bully boy tactics
It is a sad fact that many of my clients report to having been bullied at some point in their lives, and whilst it is often true that bullying tends to occur mainly during childhood years in the playground, adults can suffer from being bullied too.
Listening to the comedian, Michael McIntyre on 'Desert Island Discs' the other day, I was astonished to find out that he has been the target of much hostility from other more 'edgy' comedians. There seems to be something about his wholesome, family friendly act that they appear to dislike intensely, in fact one comedian, Stewart Lee described him as 'spoon-feeding his audience warm diarrhoea'. In fact at the British Comedy Awards earlier this year, McIntyre suffered relentless barracking from fellow comedians and he and his wife were shocked and distress at the extent of the nastiness of some of these comments.
To me, it is quite clear that their hostility is due to their own insecurity and relative lack of success and this is something that I explain to many of my clients that I see who have been bullied. Very often the bullies can see something very special, different and talented that they themselves do not possess, and never will. However, this sort of information, whilst comforting, may not be enough to make the person on the receiving end a whole lot better.
Hypnotherapy and NLP can really be of help in this regard, by using techniques and suggestions which go directly to the sub-conscious mind to make the client feel confident, protected and strong - if you like, developing a really thick skin (or even shell in some cases!) which means that anything negative just bounces off, and no longer has the power to cause harm or distress. These sorts of techniques can be particularly useful to children and what I often find is, that with this new-found confidence and resilience, the bullies soon tire of their stupid cowardly ways, as they no longer receive a response.
If your child (or maybe even yourself) is being bullied, do contact me in confidence to find out how I can help . My number is 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.
Listening to the comedian, Michael McIntyre on 'Desert Island Discs' the other day, I was astonished to find out that he has been the target of much hostility from other more 'edgy' comedians. There seems to be something about his wholesome, family friendly act that they appear to dislike intensely, in fact one comedian, Stewart Lee described him as 'spoon-feeding his audience warm diarrhoea'. In fact at the British Comedy Awards earlier this year, McIntyre suffered relentless barracking from fellow comedians and he and his wife were shocked and distress at the extent of the nastiness of some of these comments.
To me, it is quite clear that their hostility is due to their own insecurity and relative lack of success and this is something that I explain to many of my clients that I see who have been bullied. Very often the bullies can see something very special, different and talented that they themselves do not possess, and never will. However, this sort of information, whilst comforting, may not be enough to make the person on the receiving end a whole lot better.
Hypnotherapy and NLP can really be of help in this regard, by using techniques and suggestions which go directly to the sub-conscious mind to make the client feel confident, protected and strong - if you like, developing a really thick skin (or even shell in some cases!) which means that anything negative just bounces off, and no longer has the power to cause harm or distress. These sorts of techniques can be particularly useful to children and what I often find is, that with this new-found confidence and resilience, the bullies soon tire of their stupid cowardly ways, as they no longer receive a response.
If your child (or maybe even yourself) is being bullied, do contact me in confidence to find out how I can help . My number is 01449 780352 or 0781 7158429, or wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
One day I'll fly away
Its getting near to holiday time now, and many of you will be jetting off to all sorts of interesting places. Or maybe, if you are one of the many people who have a fear of flying, you will be going somewhere closer to home or perhaps have planned a long coach/train/boat journey to get you to your destination.
Probably as a result of all the great holidays my dad planned for us when we were little, I (along with my brother) have inherited a love of travelling. These were only to the Isle of Wight or to Devon or some other place within the UK, but the memories of these trips have stayed with me, including the excitement I felt prior to the actual holiday itself.
I really do love everything about holidays, from the planning, the packing, the actual travel itself and of course once you get there and experience different sights, people, landscapes, even smells. It does broaden the mind and makes you feel that there is a huge world out there, and your little corner is just a very minuscule part of it. Since adulthood, I have travelled reasonably extensively to some wonderful destinations, including Canada, the USA, Cuba, Thailand, Sri Lanka and to many countries within Europe, too. I am so thankful that I have been able to do this, and Mr Chalk and I are looking forward to many years to come when we can visit those places that we still want to see.
I realise for some people that, because of a fear of flying, they are limited to the places they can travel to. This may be OK if they are happy to not go very far afield, but for some, there is a sense of frustration that they will never be able to see those exotic places which they have always wanted to visit. In addition, they can feel that they are letting down a partner or loved one by not being able to travel by plane.
In my experience, hypnotherapy is one of the best ways to conquer a fear of flying, and it often needs only a couple of sessions to make a real difference. Very often the fear is related to a bad flight experienced in the past, and through an NLP technique called 'fast phobia' this memory is very quickly scrambled, so that it loses its control over you. In addition, relaxation or breathing exercises can be taught which will help with any remaining pre-flight nerves. I have witnessed quite astounding results, and my clients typically tell me that, from being paralysed by even the thought of air travel, they were able to actually enjoy the flight, after hypnosis treatment.
If you would like to try hypnotherapy for a fear of flying, or indeed, if there is any other phobia that you are keen to see the back of, do please give me a call on 01449 780352 or 0781 715 8429, or alternatively email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.
Happy holidays,
Wendy
x
Probably as a result of all the great holidays my dad planned for us when we were little, I (along with my brother) have inherited a love of travelling. These were only to the Isle of Wight or to Devon or some other place within the UK, but the memories of these trips have stayed with me, including the excitement I felt prior to the actual holiday itself.
I really do love everything about holidays, from the planning, the packing, the actual travel itself and of course once you get there and experience different sights, people, landscapes, even smells. It does broaden the mind and makes you feel that there is a huge world out there, and your little corner is just a very minuscule part of it. Since adulthood, I have travelled reasonably extensively to some wonderful destinations, including Canada, the USA, Cuba, Thailand, Sri Lanka and to many countries within Europe, too. I am so thankful that I have been able to do this, and Mr Chalk and I are looking forward to many years to come when we can visit those places that we still want to see.
I realise for some people that, because of a fear of flying, they are limited to the places they can travel to. This may be OK if they are happy to not go very far afield, but for some, there is a sense of frustration that they will never be able to see those exotic places which they have always wanted to visit. In addition, they can feel that they are letting down a partner or loved one by not being able to travel by plane.
In my experience, hypnotherapy is one of the best ways to conquer a fear of flying, and it often needs only a couple of sessions to make a real difference. Very often the fear is related to a bad flight experienced in the past, and through an NLP technique called 'fast phobia' this memory is very quickly scrambled, so that it loses its control over you. In addition, relaxation or breathing exercises can be taught which will help with any remaining pre-flight nerves. I have witnessed quite astounding results, and my clients typically tell me that, from being paralysed by even the thought of air travel, they were able to actually enjoy the flight, after hypnosis treatment.
If you would like to try hypnotherapy for a fear of flying, or indeed, if there is any other phobia that you are keen to see the back of, do please give me a call on 01449 780352 or 0781 715 8429, or alternatively email me on wendy@wendychalk.co.uk.
Happy holidays,
Wendy
x
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Letting go
I have recently been going round to various open days with my son, who is intending to go to music college in 2012. This scares me in a number of ways, not least the fact that we will be considerably poorer, but also the idea of imagining my son on his own and looking after himself for the first time. We have always taught him to be fairly independent, and I'm sure he would be able to cook basic meals, but occasionally things happen that remind you that he is 'not quite' an adult yet.
He is going off to Latitude next week, and during a chat the other day, he asked if it would be alright if he left his money in his tent. There then ensued a lecture from my husband about how no-one can be trusted in this crime-ridden age, and so should purchase a specially fortified 'money-belt' to keep all his valuables in. Searching the 'festival' website, but it was deemed that none were 'cool' enough for him to have about his person at Latitude, so other options such as keeping it in his sock, in his mobile phone wallet or just in his pocket were discussed but summarily dismissed.
We eventually found a solution, but it was interesting for me to realise just how trusting my son is, and how, when he goes away, he is (by necessity) going to change and become much more streetwise. Whichever college he goes to, it is likely to be in a major city (London, Birmingham or Manchester) and I am sure, coming from a tiny Suffolk village that this will be a culture shock. However, even from a young age, he always seems to have felt quite at home in big cities, and he does generally like the vibe. So, from this point of view, I'm sure he will be absolutely fine.
I don't sound convincing, do I?
The next year will go really quickly, and then before we know it he will be packing up all his worldly goods and fleeing the nest, so I have resolved in the meantime to enjoy his company while he is still here - this would include his music - piano, flute and saxophone - that we take for granted at the moment, but which floats downstairs to our kitchen, giving it the feel of a jazz club. But also his cheery personality, his funny 'food quirks' (a liking for fondant icing, and paxo stuffing - not together, I hasten to add) and his wicked sense of humour.
But I know that eventually I will have to let him make his own way and that this will be hard. As a mum, we spend so many years looking out for our offspring, and so when kids do eventually gain their independence, it is often hard to adjust.
I think that it is important that we look at this stage as a new stage in 'our' lives too, a time when we can learn new things, perhaps start a new job or hobby, meet new people.
But, of course, still being there for them when they come back ......
All the best,
Wendy x
He is going off to Latitude next week, and during a chat the other day, he asked if it would be alright if he left his money in his tent. There then ensued a lecture from my husband about how no-one can be trusted in this crime-ridden age, and so should purchase a specially fortified 'money-belt' to keep all his valuables in. Searching the 'festival' website, but it was deemed that none were 'cool' enough for him to have about his person at Latitude, so other options such as keeping it in his sock, in his mobile phone wallet or just in his pocket were discussed but summarily dismissed.
We eventually found a solution, but it was interesting for me to realise just how trusting my son is, and how, when he goes away, he is (by necessity) going to change and become much more streetwise. Whichever college he goes to, it is likely to be in a major city (London, Birmingham or Manchester) and I am sure, coming from a tiny Suffolk village that this will be a culture shock. However, even from a young age, he always seems to have felt quite at home in big cities, and he does generally like the vibe. So, from this point of view, I'm sure he will be absolutely fine.
I don't sound convincing, do I?
The next year will go really quickly, and then before we know it he will be packing up all his worldly goods and fleeing the nest, so I have resolved in the meantime to enjoy his company while he is still here - this would include his music - piano, flute and saxophone - that we take for granted at the moment, but which floats downstairs to our kitchen, giving it the feel of a jazz club. But also his cheery personality, his funny 'food quirks' (a liking for fondant icing, and paxo stuffing - not together, I hasten to add) and his wicked sense of humour.
But I know that eventually I will have to let him make his own way and that this will be hard. As a mum, we spend so many years looking out for our offspring, and so when kids do eventually gain their independence, it is often hard to adjust.
I think that it is important that we look at this stage as a new stage in 'our' lives too, a time when we can learn new things, perhaps start a new job or hobby, meet new people.
But, of course, still being there for them when they come back ......
All the best,
Wendy x
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